Shoot Em Up... or "boys having fun with guns..."

"Honey?... I think I'm going to be a little late... I have to take care of a couple of things first..."

Its amazing what kind of stew you can end up with when you combine just the right ingredients. For example: get a perpetually pissed-off loner whose violent tendencies go nuclear at the slightest provocation, add an unbelievably hot prostitute with a matriarchal fetish, mix in one bad ass killer trying to make it home in time for his kid's birthday and one freshly orphaned baby with an ear for heavy metal music. Add them all together and simmer for a little less than 90 minutes in a broth of guns, bullets and carrots (yup! don't forget the carrots)... and what have you got?..... Shoot Em Up.

One of this year's eagerly anticipated action flicks, Shoot Em Up doesn't try to live up to anything other than it's name. Written and directed by Michael Davis (100 girls, Monster Man), the film stars Clive Owen as the mysterious crack-shot "Mr. Smith" who reluctantly plays midwife (yes... midwife) and protector to the previously described rock and roll infant. The said infant which is mysteriously being hunted by a gang of killers led by "Hertz", a ruthless executioner played with exemplary pomp and flair by Paul Giamatti. Onscreen sex-siren Monica Bellucci plays "Donna Quintano", an emotionally scarred prostitute who gets mixed up in the mayhem when Smith asks her help in taking care of the enigmatic baby. What follows is almost an hour and a half's worth of gunfights, car chases, blood, gore, sex; all of which are summed up in two words: mindless fun.

I'm a British nanny, and I'm dangerous

The movie doesn't concentrate into the plot all that much. And I would hazard a guess that that was the whole point! Shoot Em Up is basically one big outrageous action sequence being held together by a weak story. The funny thing about that idea is... it works great that way! In this particular case, the gunfights, the car chases and most everything else in the flick are done in exaggerated proportions, most of the time resulting in over-the-top delivery. The body count alone pays homage to all the classic one-man-army flicks that popularized the invincible gun-wielding hero (Rambo, Commando, etc) of yesteryear. Even dialogue is limited to barely grounding the plot and concentrates mostly in delivering amusing one-liners particularly those exchanged by the characters of Giamatti and Owen. The inclusion of Monica Bellucci wasn't based on her acting prowess (although she did have her share of nominations, awards and accolades for her other works in the past), rather it was because of what she is... one of the hottest babes around... and I think we can all agree on that. She brings the "hotness" factor that is a must-have for any decent action flick.

"What's up Doc?"

"You wascally wabbit..."

"You are the angriest man in the world..."

"If I remember right, you used to like it like that..."

Once in a while, it's refreshing to find a film that delivers with as little pretense of what it was intended to achieve. The film promises to let you lie back and just enjoy good old fashioned action without the usual disguise of a complicated story. And at the end of a long and tiring day, what better way to help you relax than a good old fashioned...

yup, you guessed it...

Shoot Em Up.