Shoot Em Up... or "boys having fun with guns..."

"Honey?... I think I'm going to be a little late... I have to take care of a couple of things first..."

Its amazing what kind of stew you can end up with when you combine just the right ingredients. For example: get a perpetually pissed-off loner whose violent tendencies go nuclear at the slightest provocation, add an unbelievably hot prostitute with a matriarchal fetish, mix in one bad ass killer trying to make it home in time for his kid's birthday and one freshly orphaned baby with an ear for heavy metal music. Add them all together and simmer for a little less than 90 minutes in a broth of guns, bullets and carrots (yup! don't forget the carrots)... and what have you got?..... Shoot Em Up.

One of this year's eagerly anticipated action flicks, Shoot Em Up doesn't try to live up to anything other than it's name. Written and directed by Michael Davis (100 girls, Monster Man), the film stars Clive Owen as the mysterious crack-shot "Mr. Smith" who reluctantly plays midwife (yes... midwife) and protector to the previously described rock and roll infant. The said infant which is mysteriously being hunted by a gang of killers led by "Hertz", a ruthless executioner played with exemplary pomp and flair by Paul Giamatti. Onscreen sex-siren Monica Bellucci plays "Donna Quintano", an emotionally scarred prostitute who gets mixed up in the mayhem when Smith asks her help in taking care of the enigmatic baby. What follows is almost an hour and a half's worth of gunfights, car chases, blood, gore, sex; all of which are summed up in two words: mindless fun.

I'm a British nanny, and I'm dangerous

The movie doesn't concentrate into the plot all that much. And I would hazard a guess that that was the whole point! Shoot Em Up is basically one big outrageous action sequence being held together by a weak story. The funny thing about that idea is... it works great that way! In this particular case, the gunfights, the car chases and most everything else in the flick are done in exaggerated proportions, most of the time resulting in over-the-top delivery. The body count alone pays homage to all the classic one-man-army flicks that popularized the invincible gun-wielding hero (Rambo, Commando, etc) of yesteryear. Even dialogue is limited to barely grounding the plot and concentrates mostly in delivering amusing one-liners particularly those exchanged by the characters of Giamatti and Owen. The inclusion of Monica Bellucci wasn't based on her acting prowess (although she did have her share of nominations, awards and accolades for her other works in the past), rather it was because of what she is... one of the hottest babes around... and I think we can all agree on that. She brings the "hotness" factor that is a must-have for any decent action flick.

"What's up Doc?"

"You wascally wabbit..."

"You are the angriest man in the world..."

"If I remember right, you used to like it like that..."

Once in a while, it's refreshing to find a film that delivers with as little pretense of what it was intended to achieve. The film promises to let you lie back and just enjoy good old fashioned action without the usual disguise of a complicated story. And at the end of a long and tiring day, what better way to help you relax than a good old fashioned...

yup, you guessed it...

Shoot Em Up.

Fables... not your usual bedtime stories kiddies...

Most of us when we were but wee lads and lassies, have either read or been told stories filled with magic and monsters, of mighty heroes and evil beasts, of handsome princes and damsels in distress, of knights in shining armour and fire-breathing dragons, of wishes that come true and the ultimate realization of every young romantic... the happily-ever-after. These were stories of "once upon a time..." and "in a land far far away..." that usually finishes off with "and the moral of the story is...".

Fairy Tales... Fables...

Who hasn't heard the story of Snow White and her diminutive companions? Or of the 3 little pigs and their encounter with the Big Bad Wolf? Do you still remember the infamous Jack and his adventures after scaling the giant Beanstalk? How about Goldilocks and the 3 Bears? Timeless tales each and every one, with the ability to entrance readers and listeners as each new generation rolls along.

Cut to the dawn of the new millenium, writer Bill Willingham introduces a new twist on everybody's favorite fairy tales. He writes the regular monthly comic book aptly titled: Fables. Aimed for more mature readers, Fables is a fresh take on those same children's classics we all know and grew up on.

for those who want to catch up on the previous issues... Fables is also available in Trade Paperback editions

Published by Vertigo (sister company of publishing giant DC Comics), Fables took classic fairy tale characters and inserted them into the "real" world. After a mysterious enemy known only as the Adversary systematically conquers the storybook Homeland, the creatures of story and folklore are forced to abandon their respective worlds and journey into ours. The fables (coined by Willingham to denote these characters of myth) establish their own secret community in New York and name it... Fabletown (what else?). With the use of magic provided by their resident witches and wizards, Fabletown manages to look like any ordinary community in New York... at least on the outside. A rural compound located at upstate New York houses The Farm where the more "imaginative" looking fables take up residence which is also protected by the same magic that guards its urban counterpart from Mundane (as the people from our world are called by the fables) eyes.

As far as characters go, Willingham took great creative liberties in re-imagining the histories of the Fabletown residents. The principal players include Snow White long since divorced from the philandering Prince Charming (who was also divorced by succeeding wives Cinderella and Sleeping Beauty), is now the deputy mayor of the community. She manages the day to day workings of Fabletown. The Big Bad Wolf who now goes by the name Bigby has reformed his ways and works for the town as it's resident security officer and sheriff. Now able to change from wolf to human form at will, Bigby Wolf makes sure that everybody in Fabletown keeps the peace. Jack Horner who is more commonly known as-each-and-every "Jack" character in the stories is still trying his luck in any get-rich-quick scheme that comes to mind. Goldilocks is all grown up and still living with the 3 Bears at Fabletown's upstate Farm, although she has developed somewhat of a political left-wing mindset. Bluebeard is one of the town's benefactors seeing that he is one of the few fables that managed to escape into our world with his wealth intact. Many more characters are introduced in the course of the series whose classic and traditional backgrounds are cleverly made-over by Willingham's humorous takes

Bigby Wolf and Snow White

Bill Willingham manages to take these characters and breathe new life into them by portraying their more human side, be it dark or innocent, or even light and amusing. He plays with the idea of how such a diverse group of storybook characters can co-exist in the same reality. How does Little Red Riding Hood feel about having to live in a place where her mortal enemy The Big Bad Wolf is the peacekeeper? Or how would you even try to begin to get Dragons and Giants go about un-noticed in such a media friendly world like ours? How about the sorry predicament most of the fable community are forced to endure? Back in their own respective lands, most of the fables were wealthy and lived in relative luxury. The onset of their relocation to this Mundane world of ours forced them to work to be able to make ends meet. Case in point, although Beauty and the Beast may be Fabletown's poster couple for married bliss, they still have to work their butts off to put food on the table. Beauty works as a clerk in a bookstore and Beast does boiler room maintenance work for the Fabletown buildings. Cinderella, now estranged from Prince Charming, ironically has her own little shoestore which she has to manage herself. The immersion of the fables in these all-too-human experiences often results in entertaining situations.

Such is the picture that Bill Willingham paints for the followers of this innovative book. And by pictures, this book ain't some hole-in-the-wall operation in terms of the visuals either. The art team has included pencillers Lan Medina, Steve Leialoha, Craig Hamilton and industry veteran Mark Buckingham. The series has garnered 7 Eisner Awards from 2003 to 2006 that included "Best New Series", "Best Serialized Story" and "Best Cover Artist". Truly a title that is worth looking into, Fables will give readers a chance to revisit their childhood heroes and share new adventures set in our own backyard. Yep... these may not be the bedtime stories that we were used-to... but they make for one heck of an interesting alternative read.

Stanley Kubrick's A Clockwork Orange

time for a taste of the good 'ol ultra-violence ya droogs!

I have to admit that A Clockwork Orange is one of the few films of Stanley Kubrick that yours truly has ever had the privelage to watch. As with the films of his that I HAD watched, A Clockwork Orange proved to be one fantastic film experience.

Set in near-future Britain (or what passed for it during the early 70's), the film tells the story of teenage hooligan Alex De Large (as played by a very young Malcolm McDowell) and his less than admirable exploits in the world of, as the film would put it... "ultra-violence".

Naughty, naughty, naughty! You filthy old soomka!

"Ultra-Violence" in this case, is by no means an exaggerated term. Alex and his cohorts participate in all sorts of horrendous acts. Then again, the people from the 70's would probably be as equally horrified with what kids today are capable of... but that's another film discussion all in itself already. Garbed in their trademark derby hats and crotchguard-over-white-overalls, these hoodlums engage in most everything illegal in order to satisfy their need for the ultimate rush... hallucinogens, gang-fights, theft, rape... any horrific crime you can think of, they've either already done it or will very likely consider to do it. The plot intensifies when Alex's so called partners-in-crime (his droogs - as the film's quirky lingo so aptly states) decide that its time for a change in leadership of their merry bunch of misfits. In a freak robbery gone sour, Alex accidentaly kills the owner of a house they planned to pillage and ends up being deserted by his so-called friends to the mercy of the police. Once inside prison, Alex decides to do whatever is necessary to ensure that he gets out in the shortest amount of time... and that means participating in the experimental "rehabilitation" program sponsored by the state.

There was nothing I hated more than to see a filthy old drunkie, a-howling away at the filthy songs of his fathers and going blurp blurp in between as if it were a filthy old orchestra in his stinking rotten guts. I could never stand to see anyone like that, especially when they were old like this one was.

Although the movie outlines violence prevalent in the time period to which the story takes place, one cant help but sympathize with the predicament Alex has gotten himself into. Generally an intelligent character actor, Malcolm McDowell portrays Alex as a charming and charismatic individual. His appreciation of Beethoven's 9th Symphony (or in Alex's words: "the 9th, by Ludwig Van") might reflect one of the few things that are still innocent and good in a mind as deeply disturbed as his. The street-talk that Alex and his droogs consistently spew at each other is a bit hard to understand at first (or would the british have no problem with this? hmmmm....), but during the course of the film, the viewer gets an appreciation of it's almost lyrical and poetic qualities.

What you got back home, little sister, to play your fuzzy warbles on? I bet you got, say, pitiful, portable picnic players. Come with uncle and hear all proper! Hear angels' trumpets and devils' trombones. You are invited!

The highlight of the movie has to be when Alex is actually rehabilitated. Once the transformation from Mr. Hyde to Dr. Jekyll takes place, the ramifications of such a radical personality change will make one wonder on whether human nature should be a thing to be so-lightly toyed with.

probably one of the most chilling images in 20th century cinema...

Recommended for mature viewers, A Clockwork Orange gives us a glimpse of the horrific side of human nature and the consequences we must face when it is left unchecked. Kudos to Mr. Kubrick for giving us such a unique vision of the duality that reside in each and every one of us.