Big Trouble In Little China

What do you get when you mix-in Magic, Mayhem and a Menagerie of characters brought to life by the legendary Director John Carpenter? Well, throw-in an insane amount of humor and one fast-talking hero in the person of Jack Burton and you've got yourself a recipe for a cult classic...... John Carpenter's Big Trouble In Little China.

"Just remember what ol' Jack Burton does when the earth quakes, the poison arrows fall from the sky, and the pillars of Heaven shake. Yeah, Jack Burton just looks that big old storm right in the eye and says, 'Give me your best shot. I can take it' "

A fun filled roller coaster ride loaded with 80's camp makes Big Trouble In Little China a must-see for Kurt Russell fans. Russell plays Jack Burton, a wise-cracking Trucker who, while trying to collect on a debt, accidentally gets involved in a supernatural battle between good and evil. This flick has it all, great action sequences, hotties galore (Kim Cattrall in her prime... rowrrrrr!), great special effects.... hey! it's the 80's! shooting lightning bolts from the fingertips was way cool back then!...

"you know what?.... this kinda tickles...."

"tickles?... I have yer 'tickles' right here old man!!!"

Filled with an array of fantastic villains, this movie will surely tickle the imagination. We've got an evil sorcerer in the person of Lo-Pan (as played beautifully by Hong Kong superstar James Hong); his minions, the Three Storms (brought to life by erstwhile kung-fu professionals Carter Wong, Peter Kwong and James Pax) and a whole slew of monsters and supernatural creatures that will keep Jack Burton and the gang on their toes in this thrill-a-minute action-adventure classic!

"I AM LO-PAN!!!!... and I need.... breath mints"

"heads up boss!!!...breath mints comin' up!!!"

So, do yourself a favor... get the popcorn ready, put the beers on ice, fluff up that favorite couch of yours and get ready for some whiz-bang entertainment.... Jack Burton style!

A Comicbook Orange: Frank Miller Time

I just had to post this... take a look at a brief history of one of the greatest innovators in the comic book industry... FRANK MILLER!!!!

Children Of Men

The name's Owen... Clive Owen...

Set against a backdrop of a world gone mad... a world of the not too distant future where society is dealing with imminent extinction due to global widespread infertility... one man must rise against his personal tragedies to ensure the safety of possibly the last remaining hope for the survival of humanity.

This sleeper of a film manages to hit just the right chords with viewers in respect to present day issues. With the world as we know it relatively spiralling out of control, Children of Men poses the important question: "how will humankind react when faced with the possibility of our extinction as a species?". Director Alfonso Cuaron takes the viewers on a journey through the looking glass, giving us a glimpse of a twisted world which may one day be.... our own.

Good lord!!! they've just blew up the last good place to buy coffee!!! we're all doomed!!!

The film highlights an excellent performance by Clive Owen. This one time frontrunner for the James Bond role shines throughout the movie as Theo, an ex-political activist inadvertently tasked with transporting Kee (played by relative newcomer Claire-Hope Ashitey) and the wondrous secret she bears. Julianne Moore and Michael Caine also churn-in wonderful acting prowess as Theo's wife and best friend respectively.

"could you spare some change? I just got fired from Wayne Manor"

"Get away from me you crazy old hippie!"

Recommended for mature viewers, Children Of Men will get one to question the moral direction our planet is hurtling towards. Fictional this story may be, but one cant help but wonder: is humanity it's own worst enemy?... or are we capable of nurturing hope for our own future?

Yipee-Ki-Yay Mother*bleep*fu*bleep*kr

"That Maggie Q sure looks hot..."
"Shut up chrome dome... she goes for younger guys!"

Yes!!!! *bleep* John Mc*bleep*Clane is back! Our erst*bleep*while wrong-place-at-the*bleep*-wrong-time *bleep* NYC cop is once again *bleep* thrust into a *bleep* situation where he's up against... *bleep*... HEY!!! waittaminit....

Okay... I think I got it under control now, (just remembered that this was a PG-13 flick, read: no F-Bombs!) .... okay, where was I? Oh right...

John McClane IS back and he's still the king of the wrong-place-at-the-wrong-time scenario. Director Len Wiseman (of the recent "Underworld" series) brings our favorite tough-as-nails NYC cop into the millenium by pitting him against a group of cyber-terrorists bent on taking the country hostage through a series of internet-based attacks aimed at crippling the computer and technological capabilities of the good 'ol US of A.

Bruce Willis reprises his role as John McClane, ever wise-cracking cop who has a knack for really bad timing. This time however, he is joined by Justin Long (Dodgeball, Waiting) who plays Matt Farrell, a whiz kid hacker who just might be the key in pulling the curtains down on the bad guys. McClane's daughter Lucy also makes an appearance in this installment; played by a very hot Mary Elizabeth Winstead (Sky High), finally we get to see if the apple falls far from the tree. The cast is rounded off by Thomas Gabriel as played by Timothy Olyphant (Seth Bullock of Deadwood fame) along with his trusted aide Mai Lihn played by the ever magnificent Maggie Q (Mission Impossible 3) as the cyber terrorist baddies hell bent on bringing America's Internet and Telecommunications capabilities to its knees.

Lets get to the nitty gritty people... this is not a "thinking" movie; lets get that out of the way right off the bat. The Die Hard series wasnt known for having oscar-worthy plot material. The script has so many holes that it could be mistaken for swiss cheese. But then again, like a lot of fans out there, from time to time... I get that strong craving for cheese and that it dont matter if it's riddled with holes or not.

But holes it does have. First off, although Maggie Q was a joy to watch on-screen, her partner Timothy Olyphant somewhat fell short of my expectations for a Die Hard villain. It might be a typical case of mis-casting but I somehow cant help but compare him to the great Alan Rickman. But then again the first installment in any successful movie series is really tough competition. Although Hans Gruber (Rickman) was hardly the perfect villain in all of celluloid, he was nevertheless one of the most formidable adversaries for our erstwhile hero McClane. Olyphant, in his zeal to be cold and methodical, doesnt give audiences the menacing aura for them to connect with.

Or maybe that's because of the lack of F-Bombs in this incarnation.

That brings me to my second point: Hollywood, in its typical blockbuster fashion has toned down the angst and Mclane's token bad-ass-ness (is that even a word?) in exchange for getting more viewers into the cinemas. Although a credible marketing ploy, I cant help but wonder if this is another indication of MPAA influence over the freedom of artistic expression. hmmm... too deep? well, it could just be this humble reviewer's penchant for FRIGGIN' CUSSWORDS in action movies that made me feel a little less comfortable with a Fu*bleep*kless McClane script... (dang! this is a PG-13 review... gotta remember that).

One of the things that remained constant anyhow were the action sequences that the previous flicks were known for. Viewers are taken for a thrill-a-minute ride from start to finish; signed, sealed and McClane-Express delivered! Although CGI were used in several sequences, the result still gives its trademark "WOW" effect. It really doesnt matter if Bruce Willis is a balding 52 year old veteran, he can still make those stunts look believable.

Although generally looking like a big chunk of swiss cheese, Die Hard 4.0 comes through in its intent on giving viewers a fun movie to watch on the big-screen. For those who missed John McClane, Die Hard 4.0 is still a welcome return of a great action classic. I didnt watch it expecting a mind blowing story... I watched it to see things go BOOM! And Boom it went... John Fu*Bleep*kin McClane style!

Yipee-Ki-Yay Mofo....

Tuesdays we "Roll Out"...

Prime: This is it Megatron... One shall stand... One shall fall!;

Megatron: not if I out-stare you do-gooder!

Like most typical boys in the early eighties, yours truly was very much into cartoons. I was enchanted by the way these hand drawn images were made to move and depict feats only possible in the mind's eye. From the early Disney flicks that I watched on Betamax (precursor to the VHS format, for those not in-the-know), to the early saturday morning cartoon marathons made me anticipate the weekends all the more. But there was one particular cartoon series that got me excited over everything else. At the time, it was'nt shown during weekends. It was oddly placed at a primetime slot (on a Tuesday no less!) at one of the leading TV networks... The Transformers.

I remember having watched the first episode of Transformers (sometime in 1984 I think), literally glued to my seat in front of the boob-tube; I didnt even dare to go take a piss during commercial breaks for fear of missing out on what came next. The story was fairly simple, millions of years ago in the farthest reaches of space, a war was going on in the technologically advanced planet of cybertron. This war was unique due to the fact that its participants were'nt your typical flesh and blood alien entities. Instead, the warring factions were sentient robots who morphed or "transformed" into different vehicles, equipment, weapons etc. On one side was the heroic Autobots and on the other the destructive Decepticons. At the end of that first episode, I kept thinking to myself... "the next episode is still a week away... why cant it be Tuesday everyday?"

Fast forward to a couple of years later, the first Transformers animated Movie came out in 1986. It was all the eye candy a kid like me was hoping for and more. It had excellent animation (far superior to the regular series) and a great soundtrack ( to this day I cant forget the line from stan bush's song "The Touch": "You've got the Touch... You've got the Poweeeer!!!"--- okay, THAT was weird... heh heh). Sadly, it also gave me one of the earliest shockers of my youth, it featured the death of Autobot leader Optimus Prime: one of the most noble characters in cartoon history. Although the series continued after the movie... it wasnt the same for yours truly. I watched a couple of episodes of the continuing series but something was missing... It didnt have Prime in it. Sadly, I let go of my infatuation with the Transformers. I think that was when I realized that it couldnt be "Tuesday" forever. With a heavy heart, I moved on with the rest of the week.

But then as fate would have it, almost 20 years later, the recent boom in big-screen translations of early TV hits prompted the powers-that-be (in the name of Steven Speilberg and Michael Bay) to conceptualize a LIVE ACTION TRANSFORMERS film based on the hit cartoon series! I cannot even begin to describe the elation that started to swell up within this 30 year old fanboy. It was like having a long lost friend call on you after years of separation. From the first gossip that spread on the internet, to the teaser trailers that cleverly did not show too much of the material... I was hooked once more! I thought to myself... Tuesday's back!!!

The present incarnation of the movie stars Shia Lebeouf as Sam Witwicky, your typical teenager dealing with the normal shtick of growing up and who is on the verge of buying his first car. Little does he know just how important he will be in the coming conflict. Lebeouf is joined by rising star Megan Fox as Mikaela, the token hottie who at first doesnt notice Sam in school but is inadvertently cast alongside our teenage hero in a battle of robotic proportions. The story is centered on a mysterious cube known as the "All-Spark", the source of conflict of the Autobots and Decepticons. Having found clues that the "All-Spark" may be here on Earth, events unfold that warrant a final confrontation between these robotic entities. Whoever posesses the "All-Spark" will ultimately decide the fate of the universe.

Mostly aimed at *ahem* my generation, Michael Bay's Transformers succeeds in bringing into the fold newbies to the genre. Good word-of-mouth played a pivotal part in the apparent box office success of this film. Although most fans were a bit hesitant that Bay was on the helm of translating a much loved classic onto the big screen, the finished product and its mind-blowing visuals ultimately allayed their fears.

Fans are treated to fast-tracked action sequences that have come to be a trademark of Michael Bay. Although this aspect has been the source of scrutiny in Bay's recent flicks; in this particular case it actually fits! Admittedly some sequences got to be a little confusing at first because some of the autobots and decepticons tend to look the same in robot mode. But as a whole, it was still absolutely thrilling to see these "iconic" characters come to life and interact with real live people (oh, the wonders of technology!). A friend told me that one particular scene stood out when they watched it: the very first time that the Autobots met with Sam and Mikaela in the alley. That was the first time that viewers saw the whole heroic gang transform into their robot forms... and yes... I got goosebumps the first time Optimus Prime transformed from a Semi into the colossus we all know and love.

One aspect that probably helped the film's success would have been the "nostalgia factor" (Watch out for the one-liners used in Bay's movie that were picked up from either the original cartoon series or the first animated flick). Speilberg and Bay counted on this for the movie's success and their gambit paid off. As of this writing, Transformers has already surpassed Spider-Man 3 as this year's big winner for the highest grossing movie in its first 7-day run in the US. With this development, fans are almost assured of a sequel or three in the coming years.

At least THIS kurly fan hopes so, because I cant help but hope..... that somehow... "Tuesday is just around the corner" :)

Spider-man 3: All Webbed Up

Ever since Stan Lee and Steve Ditko introduced Spider-Man in 1962, readers have been privy to the ups and downs in the life of the wise-cracking wallcrawler. In Amazing Fantasy #15 (the ill fated comic book’s final issue), Stan Lee presented us with Peter Parker, a bright high school student facing the all-too-familiar struggles of growing up, dealing with the school bully, getting a date, studying for exams, and even taking out the trash. Peter’s accidental bite from a radioactive spider (and his subsequent transformation into Spider-Man) notwithstanding, he still dealt with similar issues while living up to the responsibility of helping those in need of his special abilities. As Spider-Man, he faced super-powered villains out to do harm time and again; but as Peter Parker, he also faced the dilemma of earning enough money to pay rent for a run-down apartment. Peter works as a freelance photographer (showing readers that not all superheroes have glamorous millionaire-playboy alter-egos), and beating the bad guy doesn’t necessarily mean getting enough work done to come up with the rent on time.

"Mint-Condition" First Editions of this comic book are valued above $50,000!

Therein lies this spider's appeal; Stan Lee inadvertently scored a hit by providing ground-breaking characterizations that endeared Spider-Man (and his alter-ego, Peter Parker) to a new generation of comic book fans.

Enter 2007; almost half a century since the character’s creation, Spider-Man continues to delight fans both old and new, in the comic book and more recently, in the big screen. In the third installment of the highly successful movie franchise, Spider-Man is at the top of his game; loved by the denizens of New York, and finally together with Mary Jane, he’s making great strides in his studies at the university. Peter Parker has seemingly achieved balance in his otherwise extra-ordinary double-life.

Alas, there wouldn’t be much of a movie without adversity. The movie centers on the existence of a dark side in everyone. The appearance of an alien symbiote and the ensuing bond that it makes with Spider-Man gives us a glimpse of a Peter Parker uninhibited by his heroic morals. This presents Spider-Man with the question on how a true Hero will face the ramifications of his actions.

"do you think Black makes me look thin????"

Several sub-plots (some derived from the first two films) are also tackled:

- His best friend Harry, who in the previous film attempted to destroy Spider-Man, now knows about Peter’s double life. Believing himself betrayed, Harry is now more determined than ever to exact his revenge on whom he believes to be his father’s killer. He will stop at nothing to obtain vengeance on Spider-Man… even to the point of recreating the process that transformed his father into the Green Goblin.

"Dad...when I grow up... I wanna be just like you...

- Peter’s romantic life is now also put to the test. Mary Jane is having a hard time with her own career as an aspiring actress and Spider-Man’s recent popularity may have enabled Peter to overlook MJ’s growing need of a sympathetic partner. The introduction of Gwen Stacy as Peter’s classmate and lab partner can only generate even more friction in his already complicated relationship with Mary Jane.

"hmmmm... redhead or blonde?...redhead or blonde?...can't...choose...head...hurts...gonna...explode....aaaarghhh!...

- The introduction of two more villains spice up the spider-stew as the Sandman and Venom enter the fray. One may have a connection to the death of Peter’s Uncle Ben and the other harbors a hate for Peter Parker that only his destruction will satisfy. Only mayhem can ensue when these super-powered hooligans cross paths with the web-spinner.


The myriad plotlines may have ultimately been the movie’s only downside.

Don’t get me wrong, I thoroughly enjoyed the film (fanboy that I am of course)! I just couldn’t shake the feeling that the story would have been much more enjoyable if the sub-plots weren’t forcibly incorporated. Characterization is one thing, but one important difference when you’re doing it in comic books is that you get to have several issues to delve into it properly. Unfortunately, you don’t have that kind of luxury when you compress it in a 2 ½ hour movie. The plot-shifts prevalent in the film take the viewer on a roller coaster ride; shifting from intense action scenes (love those aerial battles!) to Pete’s dealing with the numerous issues surrounding his personal life. The stories that were mashed together in this particular installment (in my opinion) were enough for 2 films!

In any case, were sure to have a part 4… and a part 5… and a part whatever. Judging by the Gazillions Spider-Man 3 is making (and will probably end-up making), the producers aren’t going to stop milking this particular cow anytime soon. The advent of Spidey’s more classic villains for future installments is the topic of every fanboy in town these days (The Lizard and Kraven the Hunter would be my personal votes). Let’s just hope that the producers learn from the lessons of having too much going on at once so that the next movie will be even better.


In closing, fanboys like me (criticizing the finer points of the story notwithstanding) still admit to Spider-Man 3 giving “normal folk” the much needed “escapism” that these movies are supposed to provide. So, till next time…. Here’s web in yer eye!

HEROES in the making....

could anybody tell us where the nearest superhero tailor would be?

“Are you on the list?”

Thus goes the tagline for the NBC hit series “Heroes”. The show’s first season has been an instant hit with viewers ever since it first aired last year. Hollywood is finally cashing-in on the recent Live-Action-Superhero-Movie craze. In light of the numerous innovations in special effects (CGI and otherwise), it really is a time to rejoice for fanboys who have been longing for their 2 dimensional heroes to be brought to life on the big screen (or in this case, the boob-tube).

“Heroes” tells the story of a diverse group of individuals from all over the world, gifted with abilities far beyond those of mortal men. Now before you think “Superfriends” or “X-Men”, one of the more important characteristics of “Heroes” (which makes it stand out from the normal comic book fanfare), is that it is set in a world that is strikingly like the one which we live in today. These people could be our neighbors… our friends… the man sitting beside you on the bus…. the grocer…. the newspaper vendor… heck, you could be one of them but not know it yet. Just imagine: the ability to fly, to read peoples minds, to manipulate time and space… all of these “fantastic powers” given to ordinary individuals not unlike you or me, living out ordinary lives and dealing with everyday problems like normal folk do. What would they do with these abilities? What would you do if you were in their place? Do these extra-ordinary abilities automatically make them “heroes”? If called upon, will they save the world? Can they?

Genetics plays a pivotal part in the story of “Heroes”. Relying on the premise that humanity is in continuous genetic evolution, and it is only a matter of time before the human body develops abilities beyond what we consider “normal”.

The key plotline of the series lies with Chandra Suresh, an eminent Indian Genetics Professor. Believing that human beings are beginning to ascend the evolutionary ladder, Chandra makes it his plight to locate these genetically gifted individuals in order to learn about their abilities and their role in inspiring hope and change for the future. Believing that the answers and the people he is looking for may be found in America, Chandra relocates to the West to obtain proof of his incredible theories.

But then, tragedy rears its ugly head.

During his research in America, Chandra is killed in an apparent accident. When word reaches Chandra’s son Mohinder, himself an up-and-coming Geneticist, he doesn’t believe that his father’s death was accidental. Instead, Mohinder believing that events relating to research on genetic mutation was the cause of his father’s demise, sets out to continue his father’s search for individuals with gifted abilities. Using a list of potential candidates resulting from Chandra's work, Mohinder follows his father's footsteps in search of the future of mankind.

“Heroes” presents us with a variety of individuals who have “special abilities” at the same time projecting that they are as normal as everyone else. Familiarity wafts through the air as we discover some of the primary characters of the series:

1. Nathan Petrelli – running for congressman, Nathan will do anything necessary to win. He has high dreams for himself and for his family. Will his ability enable him to win the election and help him soar into new heights of greatness? Or will it be the catalyst of his downfall?



2. Peter Petrelli – Nathan’s younger brother. Still on the road of professional self-discovery (to the disappointment of elder Nathan), Peter’s empathic nature and willingness to help others may very well be the abilities that sets him apart from normal people….or is it? Peter’s journey of self-discovery may end up being his own journey….into destiny!



3. Hiro Nakamura – Star Trek fan, comic book geek, and all around nice guy; Hiro spends his time in his father’s company as an ordinary day-in day-out employee. But what if Hiro finds out that he can do something else.....with time itself?



4. Matt Parkman – Beat-Cop Matt Parkman has taken the detective’s exam several times and consistently flunked each and every one. Matt’s depression with repeated failure to achieve Police Detective Level is putting a strain on his marriage. Will the discovery of his own special ability enable him to understand the minds of the criminals he seeks to apprehend....or will it unlock secrets to his family life he wished he was not privy to?



5. Sylar – a mysterious serial killer that has baffled the FBI because of the seemingly random victims that he targets. His vicious methods of killing may be the result of a seriously disturbed psyche….or is something else going on inside his head?



6. Niki Sanders & Family – a struggling single parent, Niki has had to take on the burden of bringing up her son Micah alone. Having her husband D.L. in prison doesn’t help her predicament much. She has had to rely on her strength of will to survive the difficulties that come their way. In the end…maybe her will isn’t the only thing about her that has strength….



7. Isaac Mendez – a substance addict, Isaac has been making a splash in the art scene with his fantastic paintings, but only does so when he’s high on drugs. Do his paintings truly capture the imagination….or is it possible that they depict something more?



8. Claire Bennet – Claire has been your average girl next door. Being in high school and keeping up with her studies while maintaining her position at the cheerleading squad is pressure enough for any teenager. But what happens when the average girl next door turns out to be not-so-average after all?

Many more characters will be introduced into the series as the story unfolds. Which of them will play a part in saving the world? I’m afraid that’s still anybody’s guess. Each one of them has their own story to tell and in those tales, we may find what binds their fates together. However diverse and unique each of them may be, the idea that they may be any one of us living out their lives in the world we live in, still sends a chill up my spine. So, ask yourself a question……

“Are you on the list?”

Attack of the Nipple People

brrrrrr..... is it me? or is it getting cold out here?.... my nipples are hard as rocks...

“Madness?...This…….Is…….. SPARTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

That one scene where Leonidas, the Spartan king, sends the Persian Messenger to meet his maker convinced me that this movie was going to be one for the books. Gerard Butler, who plays Leonidas in the blockbuster hit “300”, certainly has come a long way. Fans might remember him playing the titular bloodsucker in “Dracula 2000”, or being second fiddle to Christian Bale in “Reign of Fire”. He was also lucky enough to bump uglies with Angelina Jolie in the forgettable “Lara Croft Tomb Raider: The Cradle of Life”. And if you didn’t catch him beneath the make-up, he was also the disfigured star of the movie treatment of “The Phantom of The Opera”.

The movie tells the story of the Battle of Thermopylae where 300 noble Spartan warriors fought & died to protect their homeland from the massive conquering armies of the Persians. This shining example inspired the divided Greek tribes and kingdoms to unite in defense of their country.

300 had me on the edge of my seat. Frankly speaking, every time Leonidas makes a speech or even when he screams out a battle-cry, I was on the verge of pulling out my sword and hacking me some bad guys with it. (hmmmm…. That didn’t sound right…. Meh…. You get my meaning anyway). Kudos to Mr. Butler for playing the part with heart.

The advent of new movie-making technology enables the moviegoer a breath of relief. In light of the recent slump of Hollywood in giving audiences something other than crappy sequels and remakes, “300” couldn’t have come at a better time. The movie is based on the graphic novel by Frank Miller. The stunning visuals from the graphic novel were successfully recreated by Director Zach Snyder on the big screen using computer animation and breakthrough “green-screen” technology. Tapping from an innate love for the comic book medium, Snyder fulfilled his long time dream of bringing one of the classic Frank Miller novels to life.

The cool thing is, even if you’re not a comic book aficionado, you won’t have any trouble enjoying the film. Plain & simple, “300” has the basic ingredients of a great blockbuster movie: a fast paced story line, memorable characters, classic one-liners, and best of all… plenty of good old “hack and slash”. So if you’re looking for that particular “Oomph” in your action film, “300” has definitely got it…. In spades.